Dreaming a Little Dream.

Source: flickr.com via Anna @ IHOD on Pinterest

When I was younger, I used to have so much fun hanging upside down on my parents couch imagining if the ceiling was the floor and how I could create a unique space.  It was a blank slate and I loved that!

I'd change the placement of the furniture in my room and the rest of the house quite frequently, trying to find the perfect mix and well, just for fun.   I would bring things out of my closet and display them on my dresser and desk and move whatever was there prior into the closet.

I made my own "hammer" pants and tapered my own jeans (which my mother was SO thrilled about).  I wanted a bag, so I sewed one together, making my own pattern to sew it from.

I'd sketch, I'd arrange, I'd organize.  I didn't particularly know why I was doing all of this, but I did it and I loved it.

You see, the thing is that I've always loved to be creative, it's in my blood, it's who I am.  But I'm not quite sure that I thought any more of it other than that it's just something I like to do.

I went to school and became a medical administrative assistant.  I was happy with my choice. I can't say I regret that decision at all.

But then there's this little part of me, well, big part of me that kind of wishes that I had attempted interior design or a course/degree that would have allowed me to be creative.  Or that I maybe KNEW that that's what I wanted try or should have tried.

Source: behappy.me via Erin on Pinterest

What I wonder is how do you know if it's meant to be a hobby and how do you know if it's meant to be a career?  Or do you know? I'm so very aware of how little I know about design and business and it's scary to think about…but gosh, how I want to learn!  I want to know why this works with that and I want to know which period that piece of furniture is from just by looking at it.  But that's a whole other ballgame.

I currently use the rule of "if I like it, it stays or I buy it, if it doesn't it doesn't, or I don't".  I pick things and they seem to work together and I just consider it to be luck to be quite honest.

I was asked by one of the employees at Homesense a while back if I was an Interior Designer.  Every single ounce of my being wished that I could have said yes.  

Every. Ounce.

Source: heartifb.com via Independent Fashion Bloggers on Pinterest

And that's when it dawned on me.  Why aren't I even attempting to be if I so desperately want to?

I am asking myself.  Why don't I pursue this?  Why don't I take some courses?  Which leads me to the next question. What next? Where do I go with this? 

I looked into college courses, but I can't see that working out for various reasons.  Truthfully, I don't think it's realistic.  And in all honesty, I don't know if a career is the way to go.

Now what?

Is perhaps my blog the way to go? A good part of me thinks that's the best solution. Pulling things together and sharing them that way.  But what exactly? I mean, really…I have no background, I don't know where I would start!  Yes I know that I like the way that this looks with that, but is that enough basis to create a blog post and suggest it to others?

My own home is a great start, but it will definitely be slow going as there is only so much money that we can spend decorating it at a time.  So that wouldn't make a very active blog.

I'm thinking and trying to figure out just what steps to take and what it is that I want to do.  How I can learn, where to learn, what to learn.  And then how to share and use this passion.

It's all SO overwhelming and I'm terribly confused by it all.  But I know that the answer will come with time.  When the moment is right.

I really just felt like I had to share this.  I'm not looking for answers or the easy way out, but it's something that has been on my mind for a while now. I feel like it's always been there and that I've only just clued in!  Lisa recently wrote a post that really got me thinking about this, as I can relate since little J will soon be going to school every other day.  I would definitely like to volunteer at the school as much as I can and I know that I would like to take time to organize things around here, but I'd also like to do a little more.  Perhaps once J goes to school and we get used to the new norm, I'll be able to find a clear answer.

Time will tell.